We Are Our Own Worst Enemies

"There is neither good nor bad, but thinking makes it so" - Shakespeare

Michael Briggs

2/9/20242 min read

person stretching their hands
person stretching their hands

Almost nine years ago I became a father for the first time.

It was a wake up call. The disjointed sleep, the faecal disasters occurring any time and any place, and of course the numerous trips to hospital for intervention (and a dose of welcome reassurance). In my 3rd week of parenthood, we took our daughter to hospital as a precaution and ended up staying a week, with a diagnosis of viral meningitis being the cause. All sorts of things run through your mind when in such a state of sleep deprivation and panic.

11 months later I became a father once again. Are you crazy? chanted our friends and family (followed by my personal favourite..."was it planned?"). It was at this point the fun really started. The worry intensified, the hospital visits became fortnightly, I withdrew from my friend networks, I picked up the slack and took care of the night feeds due to my wife's exhaustion; and later took three months off as a stay-at-home dad.

My point? It's easy, when we are at such a low ebb, to feel negative toward everything and everyone. Alas, there is a scientific reason for this.

Whilst I felt I had very little control over how I was feeling, I knew the cause and told myself to persevere. However, unlike me, many Australians with a diagnosed (and potentially chronic) mental health condition cannot see a cause and repeatedly engage in destructive levels of negative and irrational thinking, falling victim to this vicious cycle. According to Beyond Blue, in any one year two million people experience anxiety, with recent statistics reporting that almost 40% of adult will have a diagnosed anxiety disorder at some point in their lives. Of course, these figures are likely to be even higher when we consider those that do not seek a diagnosis.

So there are scales of negative thinking, and chances are you all engage in this from time to time - consciously or unconsciously.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), as a widely used and celebrated therapeutic model, asserts that our thoughts largely impact how we feel and what we do (our behaviour). Negative or maladaptive thinking therefore creates emotional pain and unhelpful behaviours. The father of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) Aaron Beck lists six different types of 'faulty thinking', and you don't have to be a new parent to relate.

Review the list below and see if any of the thought patterns below ring true for you...

  • Arbitrary Inference - Drawing conclusions about oneself or the world without sufficient and relevant information.

  • Selective Abstraction - Drawing conclusions through a limited contextual view or perspective. This narrow focus (or "tunnel vision") is believed whilst everything else is ignored.

  • Over-generalisation - Holding extreme beliefs on the basis of a single incident and applying it to a different or dissimilar and inappropriate situation.

  • Magnification and exaggeration - The process of overestimating the significance of negative events.

  • Personalisation - Relating external events to one another when no objective basis for such a connection is apparent.

  • Polarised thinking - An "all-or-nothing," "good or bad," and "either-or" approach to viewing the world.

What are some of the things that act as negative thought triggers for you? Upcoming presentations? Visiting the doctor? Witnessing your footy team suffer a humiliating defeat? Share your thoughts here and start your journey toward a more mindful and peaceful existence.